Beginning at a young age, I've been broken by the people who were supposed to love me the most. By people who were supposed to protect and care for me, and value me above all others.
I learned to rely on and trust myself more than anyone else with each heartbreaking lesson and as a result, I’ve been able to walk away from many people, friend and loved one, and erase them completely. I was a survivor; resilient and galvanized by tragedy and circumstances; outwardly normal, but inside, desperately fearful. I'm much like the main character, Brynn, in my Eva Series. She’s a reflection of me; strong, capable, and a survivor, but irreparably broken yet hopeful.
I didn't realize just how shattered and vulnerable I was for most of my life. But then I became a mother and a few years later when personal tragedy struck, the pain I had buried deep inside for so many years returned with a vengeance, nearly destroying me.
That's when I began writing, again.
I had written as a teen and as a young adult, but when I began writing Leaving Eva, I wrote to survive. I wrote because the alternative to writing was desperation and depression. I wrote because the words brought peace and the stories, clarity. I wrote because I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t sleep and when I wrote, I didn’t think about those things and I was able to be myself again. I realized that writing broken stories healed me in a way that nothing else could. Writing drove away the darkness and my children needed a mother who could make sense of the world, for them and for herself.
Writing beautiful broken stories with heart, has given me hope, life, and far more love than I ever imagined that it would. I didn’t realize that these were always the stories that drew me in and touched me the most. They were the stories that reach deep inside of me and writing them now, has made me whole and given me peace in my life that nothing else has.
The chaos has quieted and the noise and dissipated, and once again, I am finally whole.